It has to be for something...

Being on facebook can be a good thing and can be a bad thing.  It is so nice to see people from high school and feel like I am in constant contact with them.  On the other hand I see the heartache that those same people are going through on a daily basis.  It seems lately there is heartache and sorrow all around.  Even for Mike and I there seems to be an overabundance of blah days going on.  It can get overwhelming and sleep depriving to see so much sadness.  There is a song that comes on the radio that asks God to give us his eyes to see... his heart to feel.  I understand the concept of the song BUT... I don't want to hurt like God does for the things that are around me.  Maybe that is me being selfish but it would keep me up every single night... my heart would be broken all the time. These times that we live in are so, so hard and frustrating.  You can't even watch the news without seeing the sorrow around... someone being shot...someone's home burning down... child abuse.  Scary times we live in.  But if you read the bible, it tells of hard times to come... of suffering and wars.  I believe not just wars or the military type but wars among ourselves.  I honestly feel like lately that I am in constant struggle with something.  Mostly, its financial related.  Some days I feel like I am swimming, treading water really...and my arms are getting extremely tired but there is nothing to grab onto... no life preserver anywhere in sight.  Seems that things are never going to change...
When I feel a little twinge of self pity coming through... God reminds me that it could be so, so much worse.  It could always be worse.  No matter what pit of hell we seem to be in... it is only for a season.  One of my dearest friends and I are constantly telling each other that... whatever we are facing... "it's only for a season".  Some situations feel like they part of a NEVER ENDING season...how do we get through those??  How do we keep on keeping on??  How do we not let our pit suck the life out of us??  Ugh... the answer is soooo much easier said than done!!!  We have to keep looking up!!  Those times when I feel like I am treading water and getting tired... at least I can breathe a little easier if I look up and get my face above the water... Look up to the sky... look up the savior for answers.  He always comes in to save the day like a knight in shining armor.  It may not happen the way Leshia wants it to but i have not lost a fight yet where I call on Jesus.  So many times I want to question why all these things are happening around me... I want to lay in the floor and throw a temper tantrum like my 1 year old... and ask God why!!!  Why God... its not fair... what wrong am I doing that is causing me to go through this??  Why can't we catch a break??  The promises in your word, why can't some of those HAPPEN for me??  I told a friend the other day... it has to all be for something... we cannot go through all this CRAP for nothing.  People say to me that I have an incredible testimony... well, just being brutally honest... some days I would give up that testimony to have my life happening exactly the way I think it should... exactly perfect in my eyes.  I know, I know... those thoughts are soooo selfish.  I know that I am created to do a certain thing and without going through junk I can't do it.  Some days though... no junk would be nice.  I just have to keep going... keep loving on my kids and my hubby... doing every day life, one day at a time.  Keep praying for those around me who are suffering and dying inside... showing them it is so hard at times but you can do it... you can make it.  God will create a way for you... even if they have to throw their hands up in the air and give God the authority to carry them for a little while.  YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!  There are two songs by Mandisa that I listen to... "He is With You" ... and "Stronger". When my arms and legs get tired of treading water these songs give me a rejuvenation.