Wednesday, May 30, 2012
It has to be for something...
Being on facebook can be a good thing and can be a bad thing. It is so nice to see people from high school and feel like I am in constant contact with them. On the other hand I see the heartache that those same people are going through on a daily basis. It seems lately there is heartache and sorrow all around. Even for Mike and I there seems to be an overabundance of blah days going on. It can get overwhelming and sleep depriving to see so much sadness. There is a song that comes on the radio that asks God to give us his eyes to see... his heart to feel. I understand the concept of the song BUT... I don't want to hurt like God does for the things that are around me. Maybe that is me being selfish but it would keep me up every single night... my heart would be broken all the time. These times that we live in are so, so hard and frustrating. You can't even watch the news without seeing the sorrow around... someone being shot...someone's home burning down... child abuse. Scary times we live in. But if you read the bible, it tells of hard times to come... of suffering and wars. I believe not just wars or the military type but wars among ourselves. I honestly feel like lately that I am in constant struggle with something. Mostly, its financial related. Some days I feel like I am swimming, treading water really...and my arms are getting extremely tired but there is nothing to grab onto... no life preserver anywhere in sight. Seems that things are never going to change...
When I feel a little twinge of self pity coming through... God reminds me that it could be so, so much worse. It could always be worse. No matter what pit of hell we seem to be in... it is only for a season. One of my dearest friends and I are constantly telling each other that... whatever we are facing... "it's only for a season". Some situations feel like they part of a NEVER ENDING season...how do we get through those?? How do we keep on keeping on?? How do we not let our pit suck the life out of us?? Ugh... the answer is soooo much easier said than done!!! We have to keep looking up!! Those times when I feel like I am treading water and getting tired... at least I can breathe a little easier if I look up and get my face above the water... Look up to the sky... look up the savior for answers. He always comes in to save the day like a knight in shining armor. It may not happen the way Leshia wants it to but i have not lost a fight yet where I call on Jesus. So many times I want to question why all these things are happening around me... I want to lay in the floor and throw a temper tantrum like my 1 year old... and ask God why!!! Why God... its not fair... what wrong am I doing that is causing me to go through this?? Why can't we catch a break?? The promises in your word, why can't some of those HAPPEN for me?? I told a friend the other day... it has to all be for something... we cannot go through all this CRAP for nothing. People say to me that I have an incredible testimony... well, just being brutally honest... some days I would give up that testimony to have my life happening exactly the way I think it should... exactly perfect in my eyes. I know, I know... those thoughts are soooo selfish. I know that I am created to do a certain thing and without going through junk I can't do it. Some days though... no junk would be nice. I just have to keep going... keep loving on my kids and my hubby... doing every day life, one day at a time. Keep praying for those around me who are suffering and dying inside... showing them it is so hard at times but you can do it... you can make it. God will create a way for you... even if they have to throw their hands up in the air and give God the authority to carry them for a little while. YOU WILL MAKE IT!!! There are two songs by Mandisa that I listen to... "He is With You" ... and "Stronger". When my arms and legs get tired of treading water these songs give me a rejuvenation.
When I feel a little twinge of self pity coming through... God reminds me that it could be so, so much worse. It could always be worse. No matter what pit of hell we seem to be in... it is only for a season. One of my dearest friends and I are constantly telling each other that... whatever we are facing... "it's only for a season". Some situations feel like they part of a NEVER ENDING season...how do we get through those?? How do we keep on keeping on?? How do we not let our pit suck the life out of us?? Ugh... the answer is soooo much easier said than done!!! We have to keep looking up!! Those times when I feel like I am treading water and getting tired... at least I can breathe a little easier if I look up and get my face above the water... Look up to the sky... look up the savior for answers. He always comes in to save the day like a knight in shining armor. It may not happen the way Leshia wants it to but i have not lost a fight yet where I call on Jesus. So many times I want to question why all these things are happening around me... I want to lay in the floor and throw a temper tantrum like my 1 year old... and ask God why!!! Why God... its not fair... what wrong am I doing that is causing me to go through this?? Why can't we catch a break?? The promises in your word, why can't some of those HAPPEN for me?? I told a friend the other day... it has to all be for something... we cannot go through all this CRAP for nothing. People say to me that I have an incredible testimony... well, just being brutally honest... some days I would give up that testimony to have my life happening exactly the way I think it should... exactly perfect in my eyes. I know, I know... those thoughts are soooo selfish. I know that I am created to do a certain thing and without going through junk I can't do it. Some days though... no junk would be nice. I just have to keep going... keep loving on my kids and my hubby... doing every day life, one day at a time. Keep praying for those around me who are suffering and dying inside... showing them it is so hard at times but you can do it... you can make it. God will create a way for you... even if they have to throw their hands up in the air and give God the authority to carry them for a little while. YOU WILL MAKE IT!!! There are two songs by Mandisa that I listen to... "He is With You" ... and "Stronger". When my arms and legs get tired of treading water these songs give me a rejuvenation.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Faith
Hmm... FAITH... In my devotion this morning I read Genesis 22. In this God asked Abraham to use his only son Issac as a burnt offering. Backing up- Issac was Abraham's only son because his wife Sarah could not get pregnant. They prayed and waited for years and finally she became pregnant and gave birth to a son... in God's timing. Waiting for a child caused their faith to grow stronger... then Abraham's faith is tested even more when God asked him to sacrifice his son, whom he had waited for years!! When God realizes Abraham has passed the test... he allows Issac to live.
Wow- what a story of faith. In my opinion- that is the ultimate test!! We are given tests every single day to test our faith... faith in God. How do we complete the test?? We complain SO MANY TIMES about the junk that we go through. I do at times. But what if we looked at it from a different perspective?? God has called and made every one of us for an exact purpose. This purpose is only for YOU. It still baffles my brain that what God has called me to do - ITS ONLY FOR LESHIA TO DO!! Its not for anyone else around me. Sure someone else could do it but not in the way God wants it done... not to give glory to Him. The things I go through with my kids, finances, family, my past... its all to prepare me for my future. Everything we do in life is a journey- the workplace, school, marriage... you cant get to the end without going through the beginning and the middle. There is a road to every place you want to go. How do you travel that road?? Is God your guide or is your path self-guided?? For me I chose to have faith in God's covering over my life. I have and will continue to go through rough stuff in my life, but I know that its all for a season and a purpose. IF WE ALL WENT THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT EVER HITTING A BUMP IN THE ROAD, WHERE WOULD WE GET OUR FAITH?? Where would we get our ability to help others through things?? where would we develop our ability to lean on God?? WHERE WOULD GOD GET HIS GLORY??
Read this verse this morning- Galatians 3:9- So all who put their faith in Christ share the same blessing Abraham shared because of his faith.
My devotion put it this way:
The person whose faith has been severely tested yet who has come through the battle victoriously is the person to whom even greater tests will come. The finest jewels are those that are the most carefully cut and polished, and the most precious metals are put through the hottest fires.
When I think about what we go through... there are times I question... what is the purpose for all this heartache and junk?? God, is there a purpose?? Then, I am repeatedly reminded of others around me who are going through heartache too, some much worse than me. People need to see proof that someone can go through junk - depend on God- have faith in Jesus Christ- and make it!! They need to see others around them continuing to do life with continued praise and faith in God, while going through hell on earth.
Wow- what a story of faith. In my opinion- that is the ultimate test!! We are given tests every single day to test our faith... faith in God. How do we complete the test?? We complain SO MANY TIMES about the junk that we go through. I do at times. But what if we looked at it from a different perspective?? God has called and made every one of us for an exact purpose. This purpose is only for YOU. It still baffles my brain that what God has called me to do - ITS ONLY FOR LESHIA TO DO!! Its not for anyone else around me. Sure someone else could do it but not in the way God wants it done... not to give glory to Him. The things I go through with my kids, finances, family, my past... its all to prepare me for my future. Everything we do in life is a journey- the workplace, school, marriage... you cant get to the end without going through the beginning and the middle. There is a road to every place you want to go. How do you travel that road?? Is God your guide or is your path self-guided?? For me I chose to have faith in God's covering over my life. I have and will continue to go through rough stuff in my life, but I know that its all for a season and a purpose. IF WE ALL WENT THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT EVER HITTING A BUMP IN THE ROAD, WHERE WOULD WE GET OUR FAITH?? Where would we get our ability to help others through things?? where would we develop our ability to lean on God?? WHERE WOULD GOD GET HIS GLORY??
Read this verse this morning- Galatians 3:9- So all who put their faith in Christ share the same blessing Abraham shared because of his faith.
My devotion put it this way:
The person whose faith has been severely tested yet who has come through the battle victoriously is the person to whom even greater tests will come. The finest jewels are those that are the most carefully cut and polished, and the most precious metals are put through the hottest fires.
When I think about what we go through... there are times I question... what is the purpose for all this heartache and junk?? God, is there a purpose?? Then, I am repeatedly reminded of others around me who are going through heartache too, some much worse than me. People need to see proof that someone can go through junk - depend on God- have faith in Jesus Christ- and make it!! They need to see others around them continuing to do life with continued praise and faith in God, while going through hell on earth.
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